What is famous

I feel famous now, although many people may not know me by my initials and last name.   What is famous anyway?  I won't be famous for my art until I really sell a lot, make it into the artists registry, and die.  For now I think that I'm infamous for  my personality and my current art projects.  I haven't felt this way since I was on display at the Grand Haven Arts Council 4 years ago.  That was really exciting at the time and even though I felt like I didn't belong, because of the quality of the work I was displayed next to, I did enjoy the comments some of my friends made, like they didn't know I was that "good'.  That made me feel like I was at the right party and dressed for the part.  There are so many artists in this world who are so well practiced, and can look at something and paint it to look like a photo.  Even though I am told that art is subjective, I still feel a pang of not belonging.  The fact that I haven't painted for two years is part of that sense of not being "good enough".  I have to learn to feel more secure about the paintings that I make and believe, that above all else, I did my best.  Besides, I'm not doing it for the acclaim, but for the enormous calm that it brings over me, and  the sense of purpose that seems to find me.  Now when I look back, over the last 7 years I have produced many pieces that I have sold, and long forgot about.  Those should be the reminders that some people do enjoy my work, and are willing to pay for it.  That still seems like a big wow, that people have actually paid me for some of my paintings.  How cool.  I never thought that I would be painting, let alone selling them.  I had this mid life awakening that I wanted to give water colors a try, when my only other experience with them was an art class in high school.  So 7 years ago, my mom asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said paints, brushes and watercolor paper.  Now here I am, blogging about it.